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SELF IMPROVEMENT

47 Inspirational and Motivational Quotes for New Year’s

by thecharmingsoul December 13, 2021

 

Are you having trouble sticking to your New Year’s resolution?

Change can be challenging, which is why most of us struggle with sticking to our new year resolutions. It is all because you cannot find the motivation or stay motivated. Lucky you, this is precisely where motivational quotes come in. It is the best form of extrinsic motivation.

Not only do these inspirational quotes make you feel better instantly, but they keep you on the right path by making you feel stronger and able to achieve whatever it is that you dream of.

This article will share some of the best motivational quotes for New Year’s that will uplift your spirits on a difficult day. So without further ado, let us get started with our New Year quotes guide:

  1. It does not matter how bad your past was, there is always time to start fresh – Buddha
  2. The present circumstances for you should not be determining where you are able to go, rather they determine where can you start – Nido Qubein
  3. It is perfectly okay to get excited about the coming future, your past would not mind – Hillary Depiano
  4. The magic that is there with new beginnings is undoubtedly the most powerful of all sorts of beginnings – Josiyah Martin
  5. Sometimes, the past can be so terrible that entering the New Year becomes effortlessly the most amazing thing to happen – Mehmat Murad Ildan
  6. It will be a hopeful thing to acknowledge that there is a fresh start with every new day, every sunrise that you see acts as a new chapter in the life you have that awaits to be written by you – Juansen Dizon
  7. Actions and goals help us in accomplishing more in a single year than what some individuals might accomplish over a lifetime. Try reading the biographies of successful individuals and you will realize the actions and goals they took had a huge role in their success – Catherine Pulsifer
  8. Every year comes with newer records made in different fields. Better radios are able to be produced, better songs might get written, and better paintings can get painted. Someone is always going to achieve those tasks. So, why you can’t be among them? – Dorothea S. Kopplin
  9. The severity of the issue you have is not the actual measure behind success, rather, it is whether you have the same issue you had last year or not – John Foster Dulles
  10. Don’t let your days get wasted. Be among the individuals who are able to accomplish more in a single year than other individuals would be doing over a course of a year – Catherine Pulsifer

11.  Forget about the past day, the past month, and even the previous year having their list of long and sad disappointment and failures, it is all a part of the past after all – Og Mandino

  1. It takes a great attitude to create a great day – Mandy Hale
  2. A great attitude actually turns into a great day that actually becomes a great month which further turns into a great year which really gets evolved into a great life – Mandy Hale
  3. Life is all about what you make out of it and it is your choice that you choose to make every passing day, not the month of the year – Catherine Pulsifer
  4. You need to manifest a life that is full of gratitude and never forget giving thanks every day of your life – Danielle Duckery
  5. That really great time of the year in which individuals have a giving spirit is the Christmas occasion. Individuals are likelier to open their wallets and hearts to aid those who need it. However, if we have this spirit during the whole year, the world would become a much better place to live in – Byron Pulsifer
  1. It is a waste of time to go after perfection, 20% of the total effort you put in any kind of project accomplishes around 80% of the result that you are expecting, so allow yourself when good enough is actually good enough and choose to stop when needed – Mira Kirshenbaum
  2. We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives … not looking for flaws but for potential. – Ellen Goodman
  3. If you try to learn a new thing each day of the year then imagine what you would have learned during the whole year – Catherine Pulsifer
  4. To get successful in the upcoming year, try staying focused, work on developing a positive attitude, and stay dedicated to your dreams – Bamigboye Olurotimi

  1. Always choose kindness over everything. I always am willing to make a prayer for the New Year, and not a resolution. This time I am praying for immense courage – Susan Sontag
  2. You need to have a serious commitment with the decisions you make, however, have flexibility in your approach – Tony Robbins
  3. The words of the previous year belong to the language of the last year, and the words of the coming year wait for another voice – S. Eliot
  4. The positive thinker will stay up until midnight for seeing the New Year. And a negative thinker will stay up making sure the old year goes away – William E. Vaughan
  5. What the upcoming year will bring to you largely depends on what is it that you bring to the next year – Vern McLellan
  6. Always have this in your mind that your resolution towards success is much more important than all the other resolutions you see – Abraham Lincoln
  1. New Year’s Resolution: To be able to resist and tolerate idiots more happily given they don’t take any more of my time – James Agate
  1. What a beautiful thinking it is that among the best lived days of our lives are not even here yet – Anne Frank
  1. Our strength does not show our utmost ability to persist but our ultimate potential to start over – Scott Fitzgerald
  1. Character is your potential to work towards a great resolution for a time after the actual excitement of the moment has actually passed – Cavett Robert

  1. Be ready to be at war with the vices you have, at peace with the neighborhood, and allow every coming year help you become a better individual – Benjamin Franklin
  2. New starting is in order, and you are going to experience a level of some excitement as the new opportunities come in your way – Auliq Ice

33.  New Year, What is it? A new chapter or just the same boring story that you are going to live? Ultimately, it is we who write it and all choice is up to us – Alex Morritt

34.  Create a resolution to stay happy, and your happiness and you will make an unconquered host in the face of all obstacles – Helen Keller

  1. Tomorrow brings the first blank page of the 365 pages new book, make sure to write a good one for you – Brad Paisley

36.  We will never get bored when we are trying to do something new, and there is actually no limit behind what we are able to do – Seuss

37. Enter this New Year with gratitude for this new chance to create your dreams. – Avina Celeste

38. You will need to take the first step in the stair of faith. You should not be looking towards the whole staircase. Instead, just try taking the first step – Martin Luther

39.  Hey friend, never forget that you are creating a totally new you, and also that there is a lot of things about the old you that you need to know it is worth keeping – Toni Sorenson

40.  In our perfect ways. In the ways we are beautiful. In the ways we are human. We are here. Happy New Year’s. Let’s make it ours. – Beyonce

41. If you think something is not according to your liking, then work on changing it. And if you are not able to change it, then you have to change your attitude about it – Maya Angelou

42.  The end of the year is neither the end nor just the beginning but the ongoing of life – Hal Borland

43.  There are a lot of individuals who are doing great stuff and helping us move forward then there are individuals who are sowing in the division. I decide to surround myself with individuals who come with faith – Maria Shriver

44.  I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring. – David Bowie 

45.  The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot. – Michael Altshuler

46.  “Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues,” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” Horacio Jones

  1. To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. – Winston Churchill

 

These were some of the beautiful and inspirational quotes to make you work towards your New Year’s resolution effectively. These are best for positive motivation. But before leaving, let’s end the article with one of the most promising quotes that show how vital it is to understand your flaws to become better.

 

 

December 13, 2021 0 comment
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SELF IMPROVEMENT

11 Signs Of Low-Esteem That You Need To Be Careful About.

by thecharmingsoul November 30, 2021

 

Self-esteem is one of the significant characteristics of any individual as it defines the overall self-confidence and personality of an individual. A person with high self-esteem will have a balanced personality and be confident of themselves, especially in the face of adversity. On the other hand, anyone having low self-esteem will not have the ability and courage to tackle any attack thrown at them. They will not be able to get out strong from any adversity that life throws at them. In some cases, they even face physical signs of low self-esteem.

In order to know how to overcome low self-esteem, you first need to be aware of the signs of low esteem. It will be a ‘do I have low self-esteem quiz for you.’

If you are someone who is facing low self-esteem or want to know how to help a woman with low self-esteem or a man who is underconfident, you need to look out for the following low self-esteem symptoms:

1.  Low Self Esteem Makes You Self Sabotage

Low self-esteem makes you sabotage yourself. That means you might be skilled and talented at one thing, but you do not let yourself reach the heights of success with low self-confidence in yourself. This is because you keep undermining your ability to reach your goals. You think the dreams you have are too big and too impossible to achieve, so you keep closing your doors.

This consistent lack of confidence makes you stay negative about your capabilities which results in you being unsure about your future goals. As a result, you feel negative all round the clock and sabotage yourself and every good part of you, as you keep thinking other people are better than you. This is a sign of low self-respect as well.

2.  It Makes You Not Work Hard for Your Goals

One of the signs of low self-esteem is that you stop working hard for your goals. You get a little lazy when it comes to achieving your daily or monthly targets. Even if you do not sabotage yourself, you do not really do what is needed to reach your goals in full spirit.

That means you do not show your best potential, which results in you not being genuinely invested in your goals. So, you end up not really paying attention to your work. This is probably because you have an internal fear of not achieving success in the long run.

3.  You Feel Uncomfortable Around People

This is one of the top signs of low self-esteem in a child. Having low self-esteem can make you feel super uncomfortable around people. You feel that people around you don’t take you seriously and undermine your personality or your potential. This is a vicious cycle of negative thoughts discouraging you from everyday social life with no positive result at the end of the tunnel.

You end up isolating yourself from most people and develop conditions such as social anxiety. This condition can cause you to feel signs such as trembling, low blood sugar levels, and irritability when you are not in your comfort zone. What happens at the end is that you stop performing at your best this way.

4.  You Feel Exhausted Easily

You tend to feel exhausted easily when you are around a group of different people or are doing a certain activity. This happens due to the increase of negative energy in yourself, which leads you to fight with yourself to get a task done. You end up consuming a lot of mental energy to get in a state to function to what people call normal. This results in you feeling exhausted easily.

For example, you might have to fake in front of a group of people and show a cheery personality that is everything but you. This consistent desperation for external validation makes you exert a lot which makes you exhausted mentally and physically.

5.  Anxiety is With You Forever

Anxiety can be a troublesome thing, and it can cause you to forget a lot of things, work less than your true capacity, and isolate yourself from people around you. When you are fighting the constant inner voices in your head that keep saying that you are not worth it, anxiety also participates and makes you stress over tiny things. This may involve you not getting the results you want, so you end up being anxious about everything and all the time. When there is a racing thought process going on, and you don’t feel a bit comfortable with yourself, know that low self-esteem has taken the form of disturbing anxiety.

6.  You Think of Negative Things

When you are low on self-esteem, there is hardly anything positive that you would like to think of or see in things. This is why having low self-confidence points to problems like depression. So, working on depression has a lot to do with working on your self-esteem first. If you don’t have it right, you are prone to think only about negative things that happen around you. Instead of looking forward, you tend to only see backward and point out all the mistakes of the past that don’t mean anything or anything significant in the present. In simple words, low self-esteem can really make you your worst enemy.

7.  You Miss Out on the Opportunities

You also tend to miss out on all the fantastic opportunities you may have as an individual if you do not have a satisfying self-esteem level. You tend to not avail all the opportunities that lie in front of you. For example, if you see a job posting on LinkedIn, you might give yourself messages like, “I am not capable enough for this job,” “I don’t have it in me what it takes to deserve this role in the sector.”

This thinking can lead you to not take the chance and shoot your shot for the spot. What happens is that often a rather under-qualified person will take your job, and you end up getting nothing because you think you are nothing. It is one of the common signs of low self-esteem.

8. Low Self Esteem Makes You Not Have Fun

Having low self-esteem makes you miss out on all the fun your friends and family are having. Constant negative thinking circles around the notion that you don’t deserve all the good things in life conquers, leading you to not take your time and enjoy anything in life.

What causes low self-esteem?  This happens mostly because you don’t take your chances, and you keep telling yourself that it is the level of achievements that makes one acceptable and lovable. If you do not have certain things or characteristics, no one is going to enjoy your company which can leave you feeling isolated in the end.

 

9.  You Feel Stressed All the Time

You tend to feel the rush hour all the time in the day. When you don’t have high self-esteem, you think you have to do things extraordinarily to get acknowledged and loved. You have this constant pressure to impress others, and therefore, you often end up overworking and overcompensating for other people to please them. You feel that you must spend all your hours doing something productively, or you won’t be accepted.

This makes you stay in a stressed condition all the time, and you do not feel relaxed at any moment of the day. Moreover, this constant tension hardly leads to anything exceptional in the end, contributing to feelings of low self-worth.

10.       Low Self Esteem Makes You Overthink

Another problem that arises with low self-esteem is that you end up consuming a lot of your mind dwelling over seemingly little things. You stay in the trap of overthinking and pay attention to every detail that surrounds you. That includes you being over critical and dubious over the acts you do and the decisions you make. What happens is that you constantly judge yourself for everything, and you are rarely satisfied.

This constant overthinking can make you feel frustrated, worried, and consumed all the time. For example, you might keep thinking about how you embarrassed yourself as you dropped the ice cream you ate in public a few days ago and how everyone must have made fun of you. In reality, no one pays attention, but you cannot let go of your thoughts.

11.       You Discredit Compliments towards You

You discredit all the compliments that people make towards you. That means, instead of warmly accepting and acknowledging all the positive energy coming towards you, you end up becoming a bad critic for yourself and not letting yourself embrace any warmth of compassion that comes towards you.

When you have low confidence, you think others are not honest when they are complimenting and applauding you for anything you have, or you simply are. You take those complements as pity or hidden mockery. It is one of the low self-esteem in a relationship symptoms.

Final Thoughts

These are some of the most significant signs that come with having low self-esteem. Knowing these will help you on how to overcome low self-esteem.  If you have these self-esteem issues, it is time that you start paying attention to low self-esteem and work on breaking the negative cycle of such a mindset.

But how to build self-esteem and confidence?

Develop positive habits that lead to a growth mindset and consciously reprogram your brain into taking in only positive energy for yourself. You can also consult a professional in the mental healthcare sector who will understand the cause and help you manage it accordingly.

 

November 30, 2021 0 comment
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SELF IMPROVEMENT

12 Life Organization Hacks to Make Your Space a Zen During Holidays

by thecharmingsoul November 21, 2021

“Clean your space, clear your mind.”

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 A zen space is a place where you can become a better version of yourself by focusing on your peace and mental health. It is that space where you strive to embellish your potential and generate your energy into repairing and relaxing your mind. Doing this will result in a more productive, stable, and emotionally more intelligent version of you.

Zen space is a Buddhist concept, which means that it is the place that gives you peace. It is the space where you feel unbothered by the difficulties of life, and you are finally at peace. This is precisely what we need during the hassle of holidays.

The following are some of the simple life organization hacks that will help in making your space zen during the holiday season:

This post contains affiliate links which means I may make a commission at no extra cost to you if you decide to click on a link and purchase something. to read the full disclaimer, Click here

 

 

1.  Empty All Trash Bins Daily

One of the first principles for making your space Zen is to keep cleanliness at the point. You cannot attain clarity in the mind if your environment is not clean and tidy. For better mental peace and alertness, clean your space regularly. Don’t let the dust sit on the table or keep your cushions out of form on your sofa. Make sure to put the trash bin outside your space daily.

If there is something to recycle, do not compromise or delay. Use your full vigilance to ensure nothing of waste in your space, ensuring a clean and healthy environment.

2.  Get Storage Boxes and Label Them

We all have things to sort out, and the essence of sorting things out ideally begins with having separate compartments for storing everything.

  • For example, keep a separate stationary box to store your pencils, pens, staplers, tape, scissors, and other items. Don’t mix such things with other types, such as a toolkit or first aid.
  • What’s more, highlighting the compartments with the help of some labels or simply assigning colors or key abbreviations can help you improve your life organization game significantly.
  • Also, make sure you categorize everything around you so that you can feel more mental clarity and organization.

It becomes much easier and simpler to find out things, and you stay out of that “frustration loop” once you are better able to organize your items that way.

3.  Add Some Symbols as Reminders

A zen space is incomplete without symbols. So, don’t forget to add some trinkets or pictures that help you stay relaxed or peaceful. Zen décor is incomplete without these, especially a zen bedroom.

If you are looking for some important quality such as compassion, love, or wisdom, try to find relevant decorative pieces for your zen room. For example, a peace symbol or a dreamcatcher can help you stay calm and positive whenever you catch a glimpse of them. Do not forget that it’s really more about finding something that gives YOU peace and clarity of mind. So, try finding something that works for you as it’s all good as long as you are getting positive energy from it.

4.  Get a Notice Board in Your Space

There are different things that may be on your mind all the time. For that, place a notice board that will work as a reminder in your space to help you notify all the things in your to-do list. Now, there might be some tasks that need to be done urgently and some that require time and resources. You can cut out separate notes for tasks based on their urgency and importance and build an Eisenhower Matrix square. Stick it to your notice board with tape or pins, and refresh the matrix every now and then.

You can also make a weekly checklist to be pasted on the notice board. As you do the tasks, you can mark the empty box tick and check your progress throughout the week. This is one of the best ways of staying active and disciplined about your tasks. But, make sure that your plans are flexible, and you can make changes if needed.

 

5.  Practice Meditation

 

It is pertinent to realize that one can only achieve zen from the “inside.” Often we project our emotions in the wrong way just because we are not in tune with our thoughts. Meditating is a way of being cut off from the world for some time and just focusing on your thoughts. With your thoughts more balanced, you will be able to think, plan and heal better. Although meditation is not a hack for your physical space but “hacking” your mental space can have real effects on yourself, the people around you, and your space.

We recommend meditating right after waking up in a meditation room. This way, you will be aligned mentally for the day. Also, meditate before going to bed in your Zen or meditation room and play zen music; it will help you calm down your nerves. By practicing this, your productivity will be increased.

 

6.  Read and Keep Self-Help Books

                                                                Read the book here

Allow your space to become a good resource center for improving your creativity and productivity. Invest in some good self-help books by expert authors and keep them on display in different corners of your space. It can be somewhere where you spend most of your time, for example, the TV lounge and your bedroom. This will increase your exposure to improving your overall personality and home organization while also working as an elegant Zen décor element.

 

7.  Incorporate Tech-savvy Devices

Using some apps and devices that help you stay organized is always a wise option to opt for. Try to incorporate those technologies which assist you in staying focused and managing time, so you don’t end up feeling all confused in your head. For example, you can take the help of a step-count app or a fitness app that will track the number of calories you burn.

8.  Use Air Humidifiers and Diffusers

 

Believe it or not, the environment you breathe in has a lot to do with how you feel. If there is an unpleasant smell around, or if there is a lack of fresh air in your space, you wouldn’t feel at your best mentally. For better mental health and clarity of the mind, invest in some quality air humidifiers and diffusers to help you stay positive and calm during the day and help you sleep relaxed. After all, a zen room is all about calmness and relaxation of mind and body.

9.  Prep Food Regularly

One of the most important hacks for staying organized and making your space a Zen is to make sure the food you consume daily is accessible and prepared in a good setting. For that, you need to have a special focus on prepping the meals beforehand. Have any chicken marinated that you will later consume for making sandwiches or soups, cut and chop the vegetables to be used in salads, and so on. Place them in reusable plastic bags and freeze them until later use.

Use recyclable plastic bags or get glass containers for freezing prepped foods in the fridge. This will allow you to be considerate of the environment.

 

10.  Make a Corner and Time Only for Work

Most people don’t have a dedicated space for work. It feels more convenient to do work when you are in bed or eating something on the sofa. This is especially true for people who work from home. They also forget about time doing the work, which leads to a disturbing work-life balance.

The best thing is to get a separate zen desk for work in a specific corner. Dedicate time slot for work and don’t expand it throughout the day. This will help avoid distractions, increase productivity and prevent cluttering of work supplies around the home, making your space zen.

11.   Build a Cabinet under Bed

Getting a cabinet under the bed is the perfect answer for sorting your items in the bedroom. There might be extra stuff lying here and there in your bedroom that finds no place for storage. Having a cabinet built under your bed improves storage options and helps you stay organized without squeezing down your storage.

Also, you can store personal items of use in that drawer without getting concerned about your privacy. A tidy bedroom is, in fact, a healthy environment for your brain.

 

12.  Encourage the “Help Yourself” Approach

It is crucial to be able to encourage the “help yourself” approach regarding different things within your space among your family members.

  • For example, share the idea to clean your own dishes after each use.
  • Also, encourage that everyone in the house does their laundry themselves every week. Assign a separate time for laundry, so minimum water and detergent get wasted, and all members can work together to wash their clothes.
  • Also, teach and encourage kids to the idea of making one’s own bed.

Doing this will keep the tasks from piling up. It will also pave the way for responsibility and accountability among everyone sharing a space.

Final Thoughts

So, now you know what does zen mean and how to make your home a zen house.

Enjoy your Christmas without panicking about things with these life organization hacks. Plan things and meditate where you feel stuck. Enjoy spending time in your zen house and cut down distractions. Make the change this Christmas.

 

November 21, 2021 0 comment
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7 Hacks To Stay Focused And Organized During Holiday

by thecharmingsoul November 17, 2021

 

The holiday season can be a tough chunk for most working people. This can become especially challenging when you are expected to continue your work from home, handle a business, and have a limited time window to plan and organize things. We all have some pending work for the holiday season, and it can be disappointing when we are unable to achieve our target in our off days.

Staying focused and organized during holidays comes as the number one priority for people in this regard. When you are able to achieve focus, it becomes easy for you to do all the pending tasks you are supposed to do during holidays while also enjoying the time.

If you have no idea how to do so, we are here to help because this article aims to give you a direction for how to stay productive and motivated for the holiday season and get all the work done in time.

So, check out these seven hacks to stay organized and focused during the holiday season.

This post contains affiliate links which means I may make a commission at no extra cost to you if you decide to click on a link and purchase something. to read the full disclaimer, Click here

1.  Plan and Start Ahead

Planning ahead is one of the fundamental steps you need to take care of when it comes to staying focused and organized. Keeping everything in your mind is not going to help you in the long run. You will have to come up with a plan all sorted out in front of you. For that reason, it is crucial to plan ahead of time. You also have to ensure that everything you scheduled makes sense in the order that you have planned for.

  • The key is to note all your important tasks for the week and categorize it accordingly. When you stay ready and prepare a map in your mind, be rest assured that you will be prepared for the best to come.
  • When you follow a schedule starting ahead, it will become convenient for you to move accordingly and complete tasks, whether related to work or house responsibilities.
  • Also, if there is a situation where your schedule gets disturbed one way or the other, you can take your time to bring this around and eliminate the stress, all thanks to planning and starting ahead.

2.  Begin with the End in Mind

Whenever you start making a schedule, you must realize the goals you want to achieve by the end of the day, month, or year. That is important because you would know what you want to get and what results you should expect by the end of the course.

Also, you need to consider the motivation level that comes with beginning with the end in mind. When you start to imagine a good outcome of something, you can devise a better plan and then implement the plan accordingly. This is how anticipating in the start will help you in various ways.

For example, you have a goal to achieve a weight loss of 4 kilograms in one month before Christmas. To stay productive and focused, you will consider yourself achieving that target by the end of the month. There might be a pair of jeans you want to fit in, which will give you motivation.

3.  Get Rid of Distractions

Getting rid of possible distractions helps you successfully stay focused on your goals in the long run.

  • When you sit for doing work, understand that you have to put away your mobile phone and focus on doing the task you are assigned. As you begin to do this, you realize you can do your work fast and easily.
  • One way to get rid of distractions is to sit in a comfortable and quiet place.
  • Turn on only a limited number of devices that help you complete a task instead of distracting you.
  • What’s more, you need to see what it is that you want to achieve in a limited time. There are certain apps on your phone that you can use to limit your mobile phone use. There is a certain time frame given to you in which you are not able to use any kind of app.
  • Also, you must build in yourself an internal motivation that allows you to stay productive for a long time. It means that instead of looking for an outside source of motivation, there must be an original sense of motivation built in yourself that helps you to sustain the spirit. You need to associate a value and a belief with the work you want to do in life.

 

4.  Clean it Well and Keep It That Way

It can be usual for you to get somehow lazy and not want to work during the holiday season. But the more you stay careless about the cleanliness of your workstation or space, the lesser you will be able to organize and function with smoothness. It is best to stay as vigilant as possible when organizing things so that doing tasks doesn’t become challenging and messy and delays things.

  • In your schedule, allot time to declutter the stuff you don’t want or won’t need by sorting out items you may or may not need.
  • If there is something to recycle, try to recycle it at the earliest to keep your items minimum.
  • Also, you need to focus on separating different things based on their types or usage for improved organization. For example, if there is stationary in your room, you need to dedicate a separate cabinet for such items.

 

All this will make it easier for you to find different things in times of need and complete your work on time without struggling.

 

5.  Use the Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro technique is undoubtedly one of the best techniques you can use for effective time management. It is especially suitable for people who find it hard to stay focused, which is an even bigger problem during holidays as there are lots of distractions and less motivation to keep working in full form. So, taking the help of some calculated technique will help a lot in this case.

The Pomodoro technique is an effective strategy that requires you to concentrate fully on a task for a set time and then take a quick break in that order.

For example, if you want to read through a research article in a said time, you can give yourself 25 minutes to read it and then spend the rest of 5 minutes on the half-hour clock to relax or use apps you like. Spend another 25 minutes to read another article and take a little break, and so on. This is how technique Pomodoro works.

 

6.  Make the Best of Eisenhower Matrix Works

 

Eisenhower matrix is another strategy that helps manage time and prioritize work accordingly. Now, there are four different sectors for it:

  • Urgent work
  • Non-urgent work
  • Important work
  • Non-important work

You can put your different tasks in each section. You will need to choose the urgent and important quadrant first. Then, you will need to select the non-urgent and the non-important task quadrant second. Choosing to do work in this order will help you get your tasks sorted accordingly.

Eisenhower matrix helps you actualize your work and see where you are lacking in terms of your organization. So, don’t give yourself the disadvantage of not prioritizing work in terms of its urgency or importance.

 

This is an essential useful thing to do in holidays as it can get confusing when deciding the order of the tasks. You will also realize that there are certain tasks that you don’t need to do at all, as seen in the non-urgent, non-important category. This will save you from a lot of time wasted in the end. The more you stick to this plan, the more you can stay organized during holidays.

 

7.      Refresh and Improvise

You also need to be able to refresh and improvise your to-do list. There are certain elements you need to keep in mind in this regard. For example, if there is a sudden event with your family members to attend to, you need to improvise your plans accordingly. Don’t make your schedule so tight that you cannot adjust your plans when a change is necessary.

Improvising on time is another critical requirement. It is only possible when you give value to your free time as then you are better able to make adjustments in your routine. So, always have some space in your schedule to adjust the pending tasks of the week or the day. This thing will save you from last-minute rush and trouble.

Wrapping It UP

So, now you know how to stay focused when working during holidays.

Undoubtedly, one of the most important things you need to understand to stay motivated and focused during holidays is to stay vigilant and organized as much as you can. When you are able to sort it out, you will note that it is not challenging to focus on your work productively and activities during the holiday season.

 

November 17, 2021 0 comment
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Eight Meaningful Ways to Celebrate Christmas.

by thecharmingsoul November 13, 2021

 

Christmas is the best time of the year indeed. Carols, candle-lit dinners, and confectioneries add to the charm even more. We all have unique ways to celebrate Christmas. But you can make it more meaningful this year with a little effort.

How to celebrate the occasion the best? What to do on Christmas day?

Before stressing over posting cards and wrapping gifts, read our list of ways to make your Christmas more meaningful:

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1.  Gist Is Not In The Gifts

When was the last time you bought gifts when you wanted to, rather than having to? This Christmas, do not splurge; instead, buy small tokens that will be useful. Your friend mentioned buying a phone case? Go for it, it will be useful, and the bonus is that he will remember your actions every time he flips his phone. This way, you will spend less but will be able to give something useful and meaningful to your loved one.

Some such Christmas gifts ideas are:

    • We all shop on Amazon. Membership will be well appreciated trust me on this.
    • Do they love to read? get them Kindle they will appreciate it.
    • gift basket for coffee lovers
    • self-care is crucial for health and mind, a spa basket is the best for our loved one.
    • Boardgame

The spirit is not buying expensive items rather spreading joy and smiles. For example, you can give handmade gifts or encourage kids to make cute drawings for their grandparents. It will be a lovely experience and an excellent bonding session.

An even better idea is to surprise your friends with a camping trip. Alternatively, you can give the gift of time; it can be a father-son bonding session, a mom and daughter’s trip to a saloon, or a Christmas dinner with your loved one.

2.  Turn Up The Meaningful Christmas Traditions

Family traditions are an excellent way to bond and grow as a family. We all have our unique ways, some of us bake cookies with our grandma, and some go to see the “Nutcracker” together. This Christmas, ask your family members what they would like. This will ensure that everyone finds the ritual fun rather than a monotonous ordeal.

Voicing their opinions will make each family member feel heard and valued. It is a much-needed aspect considering we live in a time where we are glued to our phones more than our immediate family members.

Here are some simple yet wonderful ideas for Christmas traditions:

  • Read a Christmas book with your loved ones. You can start this on the first of December and up until Christmas.
  • Bake gingerbread or cookies. Share with family and friends; invite them over to try to enjoy good company, cookies, and some hot chocolate.
  • Go Christmas caroling or sing carols with your family at home; you can also record and have a “competition.”

3.  Stay Away from Stress

With Christmas getting closer, our stress levels rise. We all panic to get the best deals and worry about setting Pinterest-worthy tables. The pressure to make “everything right” leaves us frazzled. Let go of this stress and commit to only what you can do easily. Learn to “say no” and opt to spend time with family.

You can also meditate and take time out for self-reflection. You will feel free this way and will snap less at people around you. The lesser the commotion, the more the smiles there will be.

Some easy methods to reduce Christmas stress:

  • Put essential oils in your diffuser; it will keep you calm and the house full of festive aroma.
  • Delegate tasks
  • Meditate
  • Put away your phone
  • Do not buy expensive gifts

4.  Put The Phone Away

Christmas is all about connecting. It is a release from our busy lives to renew our bonds and cherish time together with loved ones. Unfortunately, the screen in our hands keeps us fixed. Even if many of us sit together during the holiday season, we keep using our phones instead of talking to each other.

When was the last time you actually savored the potatoes and turkey with “mindfulness“? Hard to remember, right?

Well, you can start with putting your phones away this Christmas dinner.

  • Start with putting your phones away for a short time.
  • You can plan your detox session starting from first by practicing with putting your phone away for an hour and then gradually increasing it till Christmas Eve.
  • This will work two ways, you will find other activities to do with your family, and your Christmas dinner will be filled with real joy, laughter, and sweet memories.

 

5.  Host a Virtual Gathering

Many of us have been living away from family members due to Covid-19. The pandemic has marred the festive aura of Christmas. Being away from our loved ones makes us yearn for close-knit rituals and dinners.

If you are away, gather your family on zoom and have a “show and tell” session. You can flaunt your baking skills, and someone can show off their Christmas tree. It can be a fun-filled session, poke fun at each other and ask in detail how your loved ones are faring.

Some similar ideas can be:

  • Watching a movie together on apps like “watch party.”
  • Playing online games together.
  • “Creating Christmas challenges” and tagging your friends and family. You may be the next viral creator!

6.  Care for Community

No doubt, the best gift for Christmas is the gift of giving. Altruism is in line with the whole tradition of Christmas, so volunteer with your family in your community center and come to the aid of the underprivileged. Light up their faces with smiles, and your Christmas will be more warm and fantastic. It is one of the top Christmas devotional ideas.

Here are some ideas:

  • Distribute warm clothing and food.
  • Make a visit to chronically ill patients i promise you it will boost their mental health..
  • Offer along with your kids to help in decorating the street.
  • Share recipes and teach or assist in baking.
  • Clear the snow from driveways.
  • Take care of veterans and guide others not to be loud around their homes.
  • Leave groceries at the doorstep for those who need them.

7.  Play Christmas Games

What to do on Christmas day if it’s cold outside?

Commonly, the cold prevents us from going outside but sitting in our homes makes us feel bored. A brilliant idea is to play your favorite games, create new ones or introduce them if you have not yet. Let children make cards; they would not trouble you with their energy channeled in cutting and coloring new shapes.

You can also ask your grandparents about their games; they will feel so proud telling about how they used to playback in their day. Some Game ideas:

  • Exploding kittens
  • Sequence
  • Monopoly
  • Card games

We recommend the ‘Pass the Present’ game which is also known as left and right. Here’s how you play it: everyone brings a small, funny gift (A $5 limit is recommended) and wraps it the way they like. Every individual sits around a table with their own gift in front of them as a poem is read aloud. Every time the word ‘right’ is said, you pass the gift in front of you to the right, and when the word ‘left’ comes up, you pass the gift to the left. When the game ends, you unwrap the gift in front of you and guess who brought the gift.

 

8.  Adopt The Change

With globalization at its peak, why not share the joy of Christmas with others?

What better way to celebrate Christmas than sharing the joy, breaking boundaries, and promoting interfaith harmony. People of other faith hold celebrations around this time as well. Muslims follow the lunar calendar, and their two festivals, the Eids, do sometimes coincide with the holiday season. Share your pumpkin pie with them, and be sure to get a sweet milk-based vermicelli dessert (Sawaya) in return!

Jews celebrate Hanukkah, the festival of lights, and remember the rededication of the second Jewish temple in Jerusalem. Come celebrate the winter solstice. A way which you can do this is to adopt practices. Of course, no one wants to commit culture appropriation, but adding traditions that you like can make your Christmas more meaningful.

Perhaps take the time to:

  • Dig in your origins; for example, people with Italian origins host a “feast of the seven fishes: on Christmas Eve.
  • Learn the story of Hanukkah and make it an interactive session with your kids.
  • Invite people of other faiths in your neighborhood to decorate Christmas trees and ask them how they celebrate.
  • Connect to your African-American heritage by learning about and celebrating “kwanzaa.”
  • Host a St. Nicholas dinner on the sixth of December; it’s an excellent way to introduce the man behind Christmas. Santa Claus is based on him!

Celebrating this way will promote respect and interfaith harmony. These are small steps having a long-term impact on making the world a better place to live. It is one of the best ways to celebrate Christmas.

Final Words

These are some of the fantastic ways through which you can enjoy Christmas celebrations this year meaningfully.

This Christmas, make the change. In fact, celebrate for twelve days as it was meant to be! Yes, you have twelve days to make it right; you need not feel pressured! Actually, for the longest time, Christmas was celebrated for twelve days, from the twenty-fifth of December to the fifth of January. Some cultures still celebrate this way. Celebrating this way also adds meaning, and why not celebrate a festival that is all about hope and joy for a long time to come.

 

November 13, 2021 0 comment
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10 Tips for A Stress-Free Holiday Season.

by thecharmingsoul November 9, 2021

 

Calendars filled, wood stacked, and festive air around you – Mimosa in hand, good food, and good friends around you, but something feels amiss. It’s not the holiday season you wanted. You are trying your best to enjoy, but it’s not really cutting it. So, how to be stress-free this holiday season?

We may not admit it, but we all have experienced stress when we should not have. But this time, it can be different. You can enjoy the snow, eggnog and have a truly stress-free holiday. Here is a list to help you prepare for a stress-free holiday season the best way:

1.  Prime Your Stomach

Who does not set themselves free on all that turkey and pumpkin spice lattes? Many of us take fruit salts before going nuts on food. We do this to avoid stomach problems and are “essentially priming.” Likewise, accepting that stress will come in different forms, but it’s all part of the holidays, can make it easier for you. With this mantra in mind, you will be more calm and adaptive.

By just essentially “welcoming the chaos,” you won’t see your stress as big as it used to be. This technique will rewire your mind and will reduce your physical and emotional responses associated with stress. On a lighter note, go easy with the binge eating; many people end up in the ER owing to stomach problems, food poisoning bloating, etc.

2.  Unplug

 

Most of us need alone time to truly feel recharged. So, do that.

Leave the work on your desk. Make sure you do not have to worry about work; wind it just enough that you do not have intrusive thoughts ruining your holidays.

Plan a hike or a camping session with your closest buddies, and yes, leave the screen! It can also be winding up on your sofa with a book, a blanket, and some popcorn. Just keep it easy and make sure you feel more in tune with yourself. It can be a day, a week, or a few hours. Focus on self-reflection; a good idea (keeping the festive theme in mind) would be focusing on your strengths and weaknesses and being thankful for them.

Tell yourself that it’s okay to burn that batch of cookies; no one will judge you on your gravy, carve out fun and the turkey with friends and have a warm and cozy holiday. Drop out expensive and high-stress rituals in favor of simple and fun activities.

3.  Stop The Splurge

The holiday season is not an excuse to overdraw your credit limit. Reports show that going overboard with credit cards is one of the most significant stressors in the holiday season. Crazy seeming deals and offers can lure you into spending more than you want or should. All the shops with their neon boards and lightings indeed make it hard to control, but you must or risk breaking in cold sweat and feeling knots in your stomach all holidays long. No one wants their credit card bill rocked up.

You need to understand that the spirit is not in giving gifts but rather in sharing, so share your time, love, and smiles for an unforgettable experience.

However, while running through mall aisles, make sure to collect those free perfumes. Research shows that lemon scents instantly alleviate the mood, keeping stress at bay.

4.  Evade Extra Expectations

It’s your holiday, after all, and it should hold true for your obsessive tendencies. There is no need to fuss about making the perfect turkey or setting the perfect table. Let things run at their own pace and be cautious about feeling burnt out.

A good way is to delegate holiday duties well in time and enjoy the time rather than making arrangements; it’s a once-in-a-year thing after all! Do your best but reassure yourself that no glaze or eggnog is worth losing your sanity over them.

Focus on time well spent instead of worrying about mailing posts, uploading statuses, or snapping pictures. Involve everyone in preparation and make it fun and easier. Give pumpkins to kids to carve and ask them to clear the leaves, making the chores fun. Not to forget, many stores do not publicize that they offer free gift wrapping. So, be sure to ask, and you will not feel bored by such mundane tasks in the first place.

5.  Beware of Beer

The holiday season is undoubtedly an open season to drink, eat and be merry, but you must be cautious.

So, take a moderate approach, neither count the macros nor stuff yourself silly. No one wants sugar withdrawal symptoms after the holiday season.   Do the best you can to maintain your routine, and don’t let a few days of indulgence open the door to full-on gluttony. You will only feel worse, and it will be a lot harder to get back on track.

When it comes to daily exercise and healthy food, the bare minimum is a lot better than nothing. Do moderate physical activity or plan a cycling trip with your friends. Exercise releases dopamine, the chemical that keeps you happy, and being around nature does the same. Pair the two and see the change in your mood. Fitness with festivity indeed.

Some holiday adventure ideas:

  • Skiing
  • Camping
  • Paragliding
  • Rock climbing
  • Skeet shooting

6.  Take Care of Veterans

If you are a veteran or know one, accept the fact that a full house and too much commotion is nerve-wracking for them and can trigger their PTSD. Control the number of people and noise in your home. You can also put out a sign in front of your door to let other people know. Remind kids not to startle them or be loud when trick-o-treating.

Loud noises can set depressive episodes, PTSD, and other ticks, which can ruin the holidays. A true holiday means taking care of yourself and others. So, respect the veterans and their special needs.

7.  Be Sure to Take Breaks

In all the commotion and work, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. You need not feel guilty. Recline on the couch and stretch to relieve yourself of stress. It’s also advised to meditate to alleviate your anxiety and practice breathing exercises. This way, you will adapt better and will notice better communication with your family.

For super busy people, a technique is known as “thinker’s moment” is advised. Just close your eyes and let your mind wander; let yourself daydream, and you will feel your mind refreshed. You can also take a casual stroll to see the lights and decorations around your street.

8.  Lighten Your Travel And Gifts

Send your gifts early for early smiles. The holiday season means long lines and delayed courier services. Save yourself from stress by sending gifts early.

Moreover, pack only the necessary stuff and keep your suitcase light when traveling. The security checks are long and tighter, and you need not feel extra lagged along with jet lag.

 

  • If you are traveling by car, make sure to check the tire pressure, hoses, and fluids well in time.
  • Also, check with highways authorities online to be sure of any traffic, diversion, or blockades. Make sure to keep your travel plans limited and simple.

Well spent holidays are not necessarily spent in Venice or Prague but with good company, laughter, smiles, and bonding.

9.  Hold On to Daily Rituals

Many habits can help make us feel calm and grounded. Some of us read for half an hour before bed or go to the gym, whatever it is; do not give it up in favor of a holiday chore. Otherwise, you will feel disoriented and may even want to stay away. Such habits also help in unwinding after a long day. It is necessary to feel in control amidst merry madness!

Remember to savor moments, appreciate the joy you had in the day while pruning the Christmas tree and hanging decorations on it. Take happy thoughts and memories to bed, make the holidays count!

10.       Ponder On Perspective

List down the stressors that you encountered the previous season or those which you foresee. This way, you will be able to delegate your least favorite holiday chores and will feel organized and ready.

  • For example, ask the kids to wrap gifts and other stuff.
  • Divide the cards among friends or family to write and post.
  • Do what you enjoy. Learn to say no to gingerbread cookies (if you do not like them) and accept what you want; the same goes for the chores.
  • No gift-wrapping this time, and it’s okay; post them instead. Make conscious decisions about the food, traditions, and activities you like and say “no thank you” when needed.

The holiday season is not the time for stress; instead, it’s time to unwind and keep warm with eggnog and laughter. Such a change in perspective will declutter your mental desk, and the more organized you feel, the more you will enjoy.

Final Words

So, now you know how to be stress-free?

This holiday season focuses on being together and enjoying the warmth. So, let the festive spirit warm your soul. Make this season more about relaxing and less about worrying or standing in long shopping lines. Go out on an adventure, take a hike, and don’t let your stress spike.

Happy holidays!

November 9, 2021 0 comment
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How To Develop Self-Worth: 6 Meaningful Ways

by thecharmingsoul October 29, 2021

 

Self-worth is the anchor that helps us climb through the stair of personal development and grooming in a myriad of ways. It is the aspect without which we cannot accomplish our goals in a meaningful way or at all. As a human, having a positive and confident notion of ourselves is one essential thing that makes us prosper in life.

One of the key indicators of having high self-worth includes a good sense of self-awareness: what you are from the inside and the outside. When you are inherently satisfied with yourself, you feel complete and don’t need any external validation. Also, no external criticism makes you question your potential or abilities of any kind as a person. This is how the idea of self-worth takes a vital role in your life. You seem to be more confident in yourself as you climb the stairs of gratitude and self-fulfillment in every walk of your life.

Furthermore, when you have an established sense of self-esteem, you no longer harbor negativity in your heart; you know things for a fact and stop comparing yourself with others.

Why Develop Self-Worth?

Some of the benefits of self-worth involve the following:

  • Enhanced awareness of your true potential
  • Improved gratitude and positivity towards things
  • Being satisfied in your accomplishments
  • Not worrying about the future
  • No comparison and jealousy towards others
  • Improved motivation for future goals

Now that you know some significant benefits that come with developing self-esteem, here is how to focus on yourself.

How to Develop Self-Worth?

When it comes to how to work on yourself, you need to know that self-worth development doesn’t occur overnight. You need to go through a series of self-discipline and focus with lots of patience and persistence. Developing self-worth calls for kindness towards yourself. If you get too hard, you will lose the real essence of it and begin getting frustrated instead of being fulfilled. So, here are some ways through which you can develop self-worth:

1.   Positive Affirmations and Journaling Helps Immensely

Too often, we send ourselves negative messages that hamper our growth. Our mind is fixated to think through a pessimistic filter based on the events occurring in the past. This concept can lead us to think with a fixed mindset. In order to break the cycle of negativity, you need to believe in the concept of the growth mindset. It comes from sending yourself positive messages and shutting down the inner voices you may have.

You can write positive affirmations to yourself, which will help you improve your growth and self-confidence. The idea is to practice self-love regularly, so you feel you can fight the harmful and harsh voices in your head that don’t let you be your best version.

Some of the ways you can send yourself some positive affirmations include:

  • Sending love notes to yourself – write them and put them in a jar, repeat for a month, and read all positive messages by the end of every month.
  • Positive journaling – this idea will help you harness the true essence of life. When you are positive in your writing or any other way of expression, your mind automatically reprograms itself and becomes more positive. Instead of getting too hard on yourself and becoming your worst critic, focus on establishing harmony with yourself this way.

2.   Practice the Art of Gratitude

Gratitude is the first thing that comes to mind when we are feeling positive and energetic. The idea is to send out positive messages towards nature and the universe, so you feel more fulfilled in yourself. This is the art of gratitude you need to practice in life. Now, there are specific ways through which you can practice gratitude. When it comes to developing self-esteem, there are some simple ways through which you can harness this power.

For example, be grateful for having the ability to breathe, eat, and do simple things. This will help you to instill positive energy in yourself as you flourish in your life. Gratitude helps to establish a positive relationship with nature and all the things that are around us. This concept enables you to understand that it is not essential to be happy about the things you want to receive, rather the things you already have.

3.   Identify and Enhance Your Core Values

It is also vital to develop, respect, and enhance your core values. However, you need to first make sure that the values you are working towards are inherently yours. You don’t need to fake it, just go with the flow and let yourself recognize your core values. For example, you might feel that spreading love is one of your core values, and so you may want to work on that value. You may talk and express your feelings with those you love and take steps to help people feel better. Being vulnerable is also one thing that may help you develop a strong relationship with others.

If you want to develop a good sense of self-esteem in yourself, know it is also essential for you to respect your core values, or you will not be able to practice them. By understanding the importance of everything you truly value, you learn to appreciate your own value.

 

4.   Learn to Accept Compliments

You also need to learn to accept compliments from other people. It is the best way to let the positive energy run in yourself. You are declining your power whenever you shrug it off when people have something positive to say about you. Many people do not realize that receiving compliments is just as important as giving them. Understanding this helps you understand the process of the giving nature of the universe. You will feel fulfilled and accomplished and be ready to stand tall when the world has so much appreciation to offer you. This is the ultimate power of compliments and it is vital if you want to know how to overcome low self-esteem.

You will also know that when you wholeheartedly accept compliments, you feel more positive about yourself, which helps you improve further. Next time, if someone compliments you, instead of being an enemy to yourself and taking it all away, be a kind friend to yourself and accept with warm thanks. Not only will this help you feel more confident and fulfilled in yourself, but it also helps the other person to find you more fulfilled and complete in yourself. This is also especially important in different events and circumstances such as:

  • Going for an interview
  • Attending a presentation and having a talk session with your fellows
  • Doing someone a favor
  • Dressing up for a special event

5.   Think Thoroughly and Be Patient

You need to be able to think thoroughly to understand the dynamics of how self-esteem works. It is because your ability to process your emotions brings a fundamental breakthrough required for your growth as a person. You need to understand that your low self-esteem may have an unhealed cause behind it. Understanding this truth will help you in the healing process. Also, you need to make sure you understand the dynamics of how healing works.

It is important to remember that true healing starts from within, and you need to break the cycle of low self-esteem by working on yourself minute by minute. Healing is never linear, so do not expect fast results. You might be back to square one the moment you happen to let the negative voices take over. Therefore, it is essential to work on yourself continuously and never be discouraged if things do not go your way.

6.   Cut off Toxic Bonds

It is important if you want to know how to build self-esteem and confidence. You need to cut off your bonds with those who don’t show you true love, support, and trust. These are toxic relationships or may develop into one if you let things go. Such relationships do not provide you anything but result in hurt in the end. However, there are some bonds that you cannot cut off totally, so the key is to learn to disengage from them gradually. Know that you are not responsible for mending the bond with them, and there is no way you have to feel guilty about it.

Draw boundaries and do not let anyone cross the line that can damage your self-esteem. If a person jokingly comments on you or undermines your potential time and again, build in yourself the courage to stop the person right there and make them understand that they cannot cross the boundary that you have drawn. It is vital for improving self-respect.

Final Words

Now you know what is self worth and some of the ways through which you can develop self-worth in your life. The idea is to stay consistent and keep working on yourself despite what your inner voices say to you.

Remember, no matter how damaged your self-esteem is, it is crucial to make yourself understand that with your positive thinking and consistency, you can break the pattern of decades and develop self-esteem and confidence that shines in the best way for you. When you develop that invincible shield of self-esteem, you don’t get disturbed by the negative things in life anymore. After all, we all deserve to think good of ourselves.

 

October 29, 2021 0 comment
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How To Get Rid Of Abusive People In Your Life.

by thecharmingsoul October 25, 2021

   A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down. It inspires you to be better.

There are times when our life hits rock bottom, not because we have let ourselves down, but because we have bonds with people who do not or no longer align with our life. Among these people, abusive people rule at the top of the list. This is because these people are toxic; they hinder your progress in life and play a negative role in your life by making you weak and taking advantage of you.

Such people can be anywhere such as office, friend’s circle or even in the family. It is a close relationship or a distant one; dealing with such people in life affects your mental health, and you cannot become the best version of yourself, especially if it is a close relationship. In that case, it becomes crucial to get rid of abusive people in our life.

But the real question is how to get out of an abusive relationship? Here are some ways you can avoid destructive minds spreading negativity in your life.

1.  Don’t Respond To Their Actions.

Toxic and narcissistic people have an inclination towards trapping you into an emotional spiral bypassing confusing statements. You might feel yourself getting agitated and need to clear your stance when they try to manipulate in some proportion.

But it is best not to respond to that statement and understand that no matter what you explain to them, nothing will change their minds and make them think that it is their fault. It is just like talking to a brick wall, so the best way to protect your energy and sanity is to disengage from the conversation and pay no heed to what they have to imply.

2.  Keep Track Of Their Abusive Patterns.

Do not stay ignorant of their actions and words. Keep a mental diary and note when they fall into a specific abusive pattern. For example, what do they do after the pattern is over, and how do they attempt to keep you in an emotional bond while still being able to control you.

Remember, toxic people try their best to keep you strangled in their bond so that you find it impossible to escape. They use certain words and actions after the abusive episode is over to make things right again.  Therefore, you need to understand this, and for that, keeping a note of all the actions they do will help you successfully escape the trap and move on for the better. By seeing the patterns for what they are, you become capable of rescuing yourself from the abusive relationship instead of getting emotionally manipulated every time.

3.  Stay Strong When You Say NO

Credit: Geckoandfly

When you say NO to any argument or an unfavorable request made by them, you protect yourself from the harm they are going to do to you. It can be highly challenging for you to be so straightforward and blatantly say ‘No,’ but it is the only way to escape the abusive bond successfully for good.

They will flare up and try their best in one way or the other to make you feel guilty over saying no, but you don’t need to pay much attention to it. Instead of focusing on the consequences of not doing a certain thing for them, focus on the bigger picture. Understand that it is an attempt to grip yourself into sticking with them, and by giving in to it, you are making getting rid of them even harder.

4.  Don’t Go with Emotions.

Your emotions are the doorway to your thoughts. When they are able to see your emotions, they are able to see how they can control you. This will make you like an open book, helping them see your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

So, it is good to work on regulating your emotions when you are in front of such people, keep a calm composure at all times, and don’t try to show in any way how you are feeling towards them. If you try to express that you are hurt by a certain thing, it will not make them stop hurting you because it was their incentive to hurt you and make you emotionally weak in the first place. So, rather than going all raw in front of them, stay neutral and indifferent to their words when you are in front of them.

5.  Follow The “No Contact” Rule

An abusive relationship or even an abusive person in your circle is never good for your mental growth, and it is the biggest thing that affects your entire life. So, it’s better to end such a relationship.

Leaving an abusive relationship is not easy. So, once you have decided to leave them for good, it is essential to live by the No Contact Rule. Cutting off contact with the said abusive person will help you to move on better. As you decide not to see them or interact with them by any means (this also includes following their internet presence), you are helping yourself get closure.

They might try by all means to get your attention in one way or the other, but by cutting yourself off from them, you enable yourself to move on at a quicker pace. Block the contact, unfollow all of their circle, and don’t keep any memory of them that will haunt you later in life. It is no use to keep something with you that would only torture you emotionally and bring back all the bad memories.

6.  Use Rationalization

Rationalization will help you see the bigger picture and see things for what they are and not what they appear to be. By using rationalization of their abusive remarks or actions, you can read between the lines and see things for what they are.

For example, if they try hurting you with a negative statement, try to look at the rational picture for it. What are they trying to convey to you? What is the incentive behind that expression? What is the end goal that they are trying to achieve? You will note that the answer will make you much resilient and help you disengage and cut off easily from them. This is something that reacting emotionally cannot get you.

7.  Get Emotional Support From People You Trust

Credit: Geckoandfly

It is fine to admit that doing this all by yourself is not always the only option. So, don’t hesitate to find emotional support. Surround yourself with friends and family that you trust and share your problems and feelings with them. They will help you process your emotions.

That way, you will not have to depend on the abusive person emotionally, and you will be able to break ties more conveniently. You need to realize that this person is not the right person to go to or turn back when you get hurt. Otherwise, the cycle will continue, and you will not be able to get emotionally stable.

8.  Practice Kindness

It is highly important to work on yourself as you go through the process of getting rid of a toxic relationship with an abusive person. These are tough times; you can feel like getting enraged and be merciless to people around you. You may feel like no one deserves the positive qualities you have in yourself. They find it as a success when they see you getting consumed and failing at life.

But by becoming a hard person like that, you only benefit the abuser. Becoming a toxic person like that abuser is the biggest risk of being around an abuser, which you must avoid.

The best way to deal with this will be to practice kindness during that tough phase of life. No matter how hard you find it, you need to extend your kindness to other people. You will feel more complacent and happier that way. Holding on to a grudge for the entire humanity will mean that you are generalizing things.

9.  Be Patient With Yourself

Credit: Geckoandfly

It is also essential to practice patience as you cut off an abusive person from your life. This is important because it will take time to really do it and process your feelings about it. It will consume a lot of energy, and you would recognize that as soon as you do things with patience and resilience, you will find it easier to find the path of healing.

Healing from a toxic bond is not a linear process, and there will be many times when you find yourself getting emotionally unstable remembering the abusive bond. You might feel enraged or weak, or you might feel guilty. In that essence, it becomes important to hold yourself with patience and let your emotions flow.

Final Words

So, now you know how to leave an abusive relationship.

These are some of the things you need to keep in mind when dealing with an abusive person and planning to cut them out of your life. It will require some planning, determination, and action with a lot of patience. For all this, you first have to work on yourself and look at the bigger picture so you can get out of the toxic relationship with the abuser safely.

 

 

October 25, 2021 0 comment
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SELF IMPROVEMENT

9 Life-Changing Quotes That Will Help You Create a Meaningful Life

by thecharmingsoul October 21, 2021

 

The drastic changes are part of everyone’s story. If something terrible and depressing happens to you, and you are about to give up, think. Breath. Breathe a minute. This is your life, and you have the right to spend it the way you want. You have the right to live your path freely. There should be no one abounding you. This World is a cruel place of creepy people envying your success and laughing at your failures. If you are the one who is looking for a change and wants to turn to a meaningful life, reading this, you are in the right place.

The Life-Changing Quotes have played a reliable role in realizing one’s purpose in life. The constant motivation keeps you fresh in your path. If you feel low this time, read all the beautiful quotes from the World’s successful and intellectual people. An amalgam of their thoughts in their words to bring a new meaningful life. Your curiosity to find the meaning of your life has dragged you to the right place.

Let’s start with the words of famous people that will surely help you find a meaningful and purposeful life.

This post includes affiliate links to products I truly recommend, meaning at no extra cost to you, I may earn a small percentage. Thank you.

 “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” Lin Yutang

 

The difference between important and unimportant is necessary. Choose the one that is necessary for you, and always get rid of unnecessary things. Stuff that does not capture your heart is not worth keeping. If you want to change your life and achieve a soulful purpose, grade the things according to their importance in your success path. Start this practice today, and don’t wait for someone else to bring change in your life because the one who can eradicate something from your life is you and only you friend!

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Barak Obama

Waiting is the cruelest time of someone’s struggle but always waiting for the opportunities may lead you to profound failures. The wait is not the solution, and the answer is to get up and find options from the unlimited resources of the creator. Be the change that you want in your life. If you have an idea, make a goal to surpass that level of ideality. It is nice to be someone’s ideal instead of having standards. For this, change is necessary; the difference is essential. Get your Life-Changing Quotes today by finding the flaws and ambiguities in your concepts. Clear them today to make a perfect statement of your success and your meaningful life..

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around.” Roy T. Bennett

A man is always known by the company he keeps. There are two types of people in everyone’s circle, the one he loves and the other who loves you. Sometimes, the people you love don’t give you the energy you deserve. At this moment, the decision to sit with the righteous people is in your hand. It should be in your hand. If you cannot change those people in your circle, you can switch to the people of your choice. You can always choose your process by yourself. Choose the best people for yourself the one who leads you to a meaningful life and success.

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”  Seth Godin

The freedom of making choices is getting rare. Society has settled some norms, and the dilemma is that all of us are just moving around those norms. Our success, achievement, and goals move around the standards that this society has made for us. Instead of thinking of your vacations as an escape, you should always move to the passion you always want to live. Life Changes Quotes are the hope for a person who thinks that breaking society‘s norms will lead him to failure. It is necessary to learn that you have the right to live the passion you want.

“Don’t hate the game. I love the game cause you’re in it, mate. Own the game.” Guy Ritchie

          Life is a race. It is just like a game of waxing and waning. This is a game of losing, winning, failing, and getting. Sometimes, you become demotivated to take a new start. Keep one thing in your mind, this is your game, and you only know how to play it. And when it is your game, there is no point in sitting demotivated. If you can do well by bravely fighting every circumstance, what is the logic of making fake arguments? These bogus arguments can be the cause of your failure. Tie yourself up and find the purpose of your life. You have the right to win this game at any cost. Be in the race and win!

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the World. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi

If you expect something from someone who does not act according to your desire, it is your fault, not theirs. That’s why always try to get rid of your flaws; always expect from yourself. No one can do anything or you as you can do for yourself. Rumi has won the heart by providing the concept of spatiality. This beautiful statement is added to life Changing Quotes because he said the most fruitful thing in the most precise words. It is fruitless to change the whole World when you have the option to change yourself. Changing yourself is more manageable than changing the World. This is the entire ideology of living successfully.

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs

Thinking has a crucial role in the ladder of success. If you can think of it, you can do it. Steve Jobs has a special place among all the people whose words are included in the Life-Changing Quotes. He has risen the industry with his revolutionary ideas in information technology. The sole purpose of your life should be thinking about something and achieving it. There is no limit to watch dreams, and you have the right to dream big. The point is, what makes you different is your struggle to live your dream. Start your life by achieving something you always desire for. There should be no “if” in your life.

“The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation.” Vernon Howard

If you want to bring the change, be the change yourself. You cannot change your surrounding until you change yourself. Vernon Howard explained the soul of living a meaningful difference, and that is: transform yourself into a person you desire to see in your surroundings. There is no replacement of the inner contentment. When you think that problems surround you, find the way what you can do. If you can cope with the issues by changing yourself, transform yourself. This is the reality of life, and a change is necessary to nail every phase of life.

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night, or in between does what he wants to do.”   Bob Dylan

The most tragic moment in anyone’s life is that when he has boundaries restricted by others. Freedom is the power of a person. The process of making free choices in life makes a person alive and happy. If anyone wants to do anything, he should have the right to do that thing. Thus, the Life-Changing Quotes of Bob Dylan can change the perception of a person’s life. If you want to change your life, find the purpose and let your soul breathe freely. Go for that purpose so that you have positive energy to invest. A meaningful life has a sense, and meaning is chosen by thinking freely.

 

Life doesn’t always come to you in the form of a beautiful bouquet, fancy and posy. Sometimes, life meets you just like a rose that has beauty and weeds. The wise people know how to hold, but every intelligent people knows which point can hurt them. So this year! Start your year by already finding the purpose of living your life. The Life-Changing Quotes mentioned above are the best ones if you are seeking a change. The fruity talk will help you find your way. There is no replacement for the achievements that you always dreamt of. The point is, if you can think about anything, there is a certainty that you can do it. And hopefully, by reading all the above quotes, now you know how to have a great start to your meaningful life.

There is never too late to start things. It is still easy to change certain things, avoid certain people.

 

October 21, 2021 0 comment
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MOTIVATIONSELF IMPROVEMENTUncategorized

How to Successfully Stop Putting Everyone’s Needs Above Yours?

by thecharmingsoul October 8, 2021

 

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Brene Brown.

It is common for us to forget about ourselves when we are taking care of other people. Humans, by nature, have the trait in themselves to care, show mercy, and be compassionate about living things. In most cases, it is a necessity – a driving force in the universe that keeps the flow of faith running smooth. However, when this gets out of balance because you are putting others before yourself, it results in a lot of frustration and self-destruction as you cannot neglect yourself to take care of others.

It is essential to know that you cannot pour from an empty cup, so putting everyone else’s need above yours at the expense of your peace can lead you to a lot of trouble. Also, not everyone deserves it. Eventually, you will see that you are unable to do anything for yourself. Even small things seem like a huge burden to you, and you are unable to give your best to the people who need you. This “running out of fuel” feeling is actually toxic, and if not addressed in time, it can land you in a real mess.

So, how to put yourself first? Here are some ways you can adopt for successfully stop putting everyone’s needs above yours.

1.  Know And Write Down Your Boundaries

You need to make sure you have some boundaries and write them down on a piece of paper. Do revise them whenever required and dive into the details. Spend some time with yourself evaluating all that you need to know about your values, beliefs, and feelings. What is it that will drain your energy? What is it that will make you feel fulfilled?

By knowing the answers to these questions, you will be better able to clearly identify how creating boundaries work for you in the best possible way. As you learn about your limits, start implementing them in your daily life. This will help you stay safe from any intrusions.

2.  Ponder Upon Your Daily Routine

Before you go to bed, it is important to review the whole day that you spend doing different things. Ponder upon all the routine activities and figure out the tasks that drained you out. Were these for other people? Were people asking you for undue favors, and you found yourself doing them anyway? Was there a way to avoid it, but you did not use it?

All of these questions will help you realize and see the truth of your routine life. You will be better able to identify all the negative things that drain your energy on a daily basis and stop you from feeling your best. You will know what you could have said or done to avoid the situations, which will help you form response strategies for the future.

3.  Set Healthy Boundaries with People

“Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions.”  Henry Cloud

After you have written your boundaries, it is time to put the strategy in full swing action. When you are interacting with other people, it is vital to have an insight into the conversation. You need to be able to quickly assess if they are asking for any undue favors or if a certain thing is too much of work for you.

Depending upon these things, it will be helpful for you to know when to stop the conversation and create a limitation. This will end the tragedy right there, and you wouldn’t find yourself in the vicious cycle of draining yourself and helping people at the expense of yourself.

4.  A Strong NO is Always Helpful

“No is a complete sentence.” Anne Lamont.

 

When working towards creating healthy boundaries with people, it is essential to work on a simple yet powerful word: NO. This comes as one of the hardest things to say, even when you want to say it out loud. You fear that saying this to someone else will mean that you are being rude to them.

However, this is not the case – in every sense. You have the absolute right to say NO to a thing you are not comfortable doing. You don’t have to be vague about this or give false hope to others. Simply reject it politely but be as clear and firm about it as possible. You don’t have to feel guilty about it in any way.

5.  Be Clear about Yourself

Be clear in your communication with other people and yourself as well. Let yourself know what is it that you want and what is it that will make you uncomfortable in any regard.

When it comes to others, your words should be assertive, easy to understand, and clear in their meaning. Instead of beating about the bush, it is always helpful to be straightforward and come with a clear conscience. This will not only let others know what you don’t want but also will save everyone’s time, including yours.

6.  Don’t Get Used

There’s a high tendency of getting used when you are altruistically helping other people. It may lead you to dangers besides wasting your time and energy.

So, be clear to assess the true intentions of others with small gestures. Do they provide you with full information about their wishes? Are they grateful to you? Are they honest and transparent to you about their feelings? All these factors are necessary to note when you are interacting with a person and they are asking you for any favors.

7.  Respect Your Growth

As much as it may sound cliché to you, you need to keep a check on your growth by all means. No, it doesn’t mean that you are selfish in any way. Respecting your growth means that you don’t have to feel bad about outgrowing other people because you think your priorities don’t match them anymore, and it is your fault.

By any means, it is not important to stick to people no matter what just because you have a history together. Don’t feel like it’s your duty to help them out. Instead, see what you can do for another person without going out of your way. If you are putting others before yourself at the expense of your growth, you are doing a major injustice to yourself.

8.  Look for Codependency Triggers

Codependent relationships are those in which you are expected to go all-in with the best you have to offer, while the other person is totally dependent on you. They don’t give anything in return, and this lack of reciprocation makes a relationship toxic. Soon, you find yourself in a vicious cycle of toxicity that you are not able to get out from easily.

This eventually a person you so it is best for you to identify any triggers for this. You need to pause and see if this person is reciprocating you and being genuine or if they are only being dependent on you and using you.

9.  Practice Different Self-Care Habits

Practicing different self-care habits teach you that you can put yourself first, and you don’t have to always take care of other people around you. It teaches you that taking care of your needs is also an essential part of life which, if forgotten, can result in you getting damaged.

Making self-care habits such as meditating or having a skincare routine every day are important reminders that you can take time out for yourself, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

10. Identify the Patterns of A Toxic Person

A toxic person shows different habits and behaviors that are cyclical. If you are observing enough, you will be able to see that these individuals have a habit of making you entrapped in their situations, so you feel obligated to help them out no matter what.

For example, they can start blackmailing you emotionally when you are putting yourself first in any regard. There are different patterns that you can read between the lines. So, identify such people and keep them at a distance.

11. Be Mindful of Your Values

To put yourself first, you need to be mindful of your values. If serving someone doesn’t align with what you truly care for, you will lose all your inner satisfaction. Therefore, it is vital to take the time to see what values matter to you.

Going against your values can leave you feeling dissonant inside, and you can end up feeling overwhelmed. This can make you ignore your own needs, and you soon feel like an empty cup.

12.  Enable, Don’t Disable

Another thing to learn in all of this is how to enable and not disable someone you are helping. While going out of the way and prioritizing others means you are caring and kind, it is often detrimental for the other person. This is because you are providing them with everything and they soon start to feel they don’t have to do anything themselves. They start believing you will always be there for them. You need to realize this and make yourself stop for both your and the other person’s sake.

Summing up

So, now you know how to put yourself first.

In short, caring for people while keeping a balance is fine. The trouble starts when you cross your own boundaries and begin to put yourself behind everything. This ultimately affects you and your life. However, following the tips we have shared, you can stop being a victim and start putting yourself first.

 

October 8, 2021 0 comment
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MOTIVATIONSELF IMPROVEMENT

12 Ways to Deal with Social Anxiety Issues

by thecharmingsoul September 15, 2021

Social anxiety is an extreme, insistent fear of being watched and judged by others. Also known as social phobia, the mental health condition is quite common in society.  There can be various reasons behind its formation, such as physical, mental, or sexual abuse, bullying, family conflicts, domestic violence, death in the family, among others.

The good news is that the condition is highly treatable, and that is exactly what we will discuss today. If you feel you are a victim of social anxiety, we present you with 12 ways you can cope with this condition the best way. So, let’s begin;

1.  Go for Therapy

Talking with a therapist is one of the most helpful practices for dealing with social anxiety. Feeling uneasy, shy, and nervous around people can hinder you from achieving your everyday goals. But you can work on your symptoms under the guidance of professionals the best way. Therapy provides a peaceful environment for navigating different anxiety-causing conditions.

A trained therapist will:

  • Provide you with insight into the difference between shyness and social anxiety
  • Aid you examine the different triggers of social anxiety
  • Teach you different social skills, relaxation techniques, and coping strategies
  • Provide guidance through replacing, reframing, and challenging negative thoughts

2.  Examine Anxiety Triggering Factors

There is always a trigger in a situation which is why you get anxious about people judging you. For example, you might get triggered when someone asks you to do something you are uncomfortable doing or when you have to present something to a whole group of people.

Figuring out the triggers related to anxiety is the first step to know the answers to work on them and cope with these feelings meaningfully. You need to start listing the conditions which make you feel uncomfortable. These might include meeting with a professor, interviewing for a job, or others

3.  Challenge Pessimistic Thoughts

There are chances you spend most of your time worrying about the potential pessimistic results of social anxiety situations. These may include saying something rude to someone accidentally, calling someone with a wrong name, spilling something on your shirt, laughing at the wrong time, and others.

Now, these things might happen by chance and cause discomfort in the short term. However, their effects don’t last but only for minutes as no one remembers the details of a petty thing for a long time. This is what you need to grasp to stop paying attention to the temporary situation and feel embarrassed and anxious.

4.  Practice with People You Can Trust

It is always helpful to share your troubling thoughts with people you can trust. There are certain ways to do that. For example, you can tell your feelings and thoughts regarding a situation to your family or friends or get in an emotional support group where you can freely share what you are feeling without the fear of being judged.

Not only that, but you can also ask your close family or friends to help you deal with the situation. They can tell you how to respond in different ways in different situations that are acceptable, involving positive, negative, and neutral responses.

5.  Practice Meditation

It is one of the most effective ways to conquer anxiety issues, especially social anxiety. When you try to focus on the present moment, do deep breaths, and don’t tune into your negative feelings, you are better able to get out of the anxiety loop that you get into different uncomfortable public situations as it calms your mind.

When you feel that you are about to get overwhelmed, it is in your best favor to take a pause and do deep, rhythmic breathing. This will lighten your mind and bring your attention to the current moment instead of jumping to negative conclusions.

6.  Small Acts for Kindness

In a 2015 study, it was found that doing little acts of kindness even for a month helped the participants to overcome social anxiety, encouraging them to face the situation directly and in a better way. Doing kind acts help you feel good about yourself, encouraging confidence.

Also, social anxiety usually comes with a fear relating to disapproval or rejection. However, if you are able to do something thoughtful and kind, such as giving your colleague her favorite cookies or helping a stranger cross the road, people form and show positivity for you. Thus, doing good deeds makes people feel closer to you, helping overcome social anxiety.

7.  Avoid Caffeine and Alcohol

Caffeine activates certain neurotransmitters in your nervous system and makes your body gets stressed. The release of cortisol hormones and accelerated state of mind make you feel more nervous in social situations, causing you social anxiety.

That is not it; alcohol can also make you feel more anxious and worse as you get anxiety tantrums. People consider drinking a good way to get rid of anxiety but exceeding the moderate amount can actually leave you feeling worse than before. With time, you can develop a tolerance to high amounts of alcohol, putting you at an increased risk of getting anxious easily.

So, be mindful of consuming these two items as too much of them can elevate your anxiety levels in public.

8.  Look Out For Details

Most people try to avoid social situations as a way to deal with their social anxiety. This is not the right solution to this problem. What you need is to make sure that you remain in the right direction when it comes to participating in public events and activities.

So, find and avoid the details that you usually follow in an attempt to cope with your anxiety. These may include being busy in the kitchen at a party or encourage other people to talk about themselves if they are engaged in a conversation with someone. This can drive you to get into a comfort zone but will actually only magnify your social anxiety, making it hard to deal with it with time. So, challenge your instincts and stop making these mistakes.

9.  Look at the Bigger Picture

Looking at the bigger picture in terms of dealing with anxiety means navigating the whole situation as an attempt to feel positive about it.

When dealing with social phobia, it is vital to recognize that all people around you are not above or below you, and they are all humans just like you are. They all have their weaknesses and strengths, as you do. Also, there is nothing inherently wrong with yourself. So as humans, we all make and keep making mistakes, and this is what makes us unique and special as a species. By having this approach, you are better able to build confidence in yourself and avoid triggers of social anxiety.

10.       Work on Your Physical Health

A lot of people have body image issues that make them feel low about themselves. This causes them to avoid certain social gatherings as they have a fear of being made fun of. One way to deal with this is to work on your physical health for the sake of your own esteem and health betterment. For example, you can do exercises regularly, from cardio to aerobic exercises, and eat healthily.

This way, you are able to get the boost of self-confidence that you need in your life. Working on your physical health makes you feel confident enough to shed your insecurities and deal better in social situations.

11.       Become Educated on Communication Skills

Get a book or watch different personalities on the internet who are great at communication. There are many communication skills that you can learn from different people or experts who will teach you how to be more social and interact with different people on different occasions. Do notice how people with impressive personalities communicate with other people.  It will help you learn the best and effective ways to communicate with others and in public. You will experience improved self-esteem and confidence.

12.       Learn Something New from Interaction

Another effective way to deal with social anxiety is to build a learning mindset. You can promise yourself to learn something new as you interact with people at an event or during an activity because there is nothing to be anxious about when you are at a place with a spirit to learn.  It will help expand your horizons, build links with people and help you learn a lot about the world, staying comfortable.

Final Words

So, now you know how to overcome social anxiety. These are some of the ways through which you can improve your ability to deal with different social situations, including parties, events, corporate functions, weddings, interviews, and others. The key is to practice resilience and make sure you don’t get too hard on yourself in that matter. You need to identify how you can come through different situations by adopting different techniques and stick with the ones that work for you the best.

 

 

 

 

September 15, 2021 0 comment
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About Me

Hi there! I am Solange and Welcome to thecharmingsoul. I am so grateful you stop to visit Thecharmingsoul. Do you find yourself searching for inspiration to simplify your life and spread it with happiness and inner peace? You are at the right place.

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