Ultimate Ways to Overcome your self-esteem issues.

by thecharmingsoul

Do you ever have days where you feel you are not good enough? Do you constantly doubt your skills and abilities? STOP. Please get that idea out of your head.

You have ideas that could solve many of the problems you see around you.  you are smart and genuinely good.

  • You have your history that makes you unique.
  • You are a good helper.
  • You are the perfect mom.
  • You are full of potentials.
  • You are the perfect businesswoman.
  • You’re the perfect partner.
  • You are the best person and the only one that can change your way to see yourself. But you do not see yourself that way. Something is holding you back. Your low self-esteem is keeping you from living the life you always want. That inside voice is telling you are not worthy, that you should not share that amazing story or experience or knowledge that you have.

You must understand that Self-esteem plays an important role in not only how a person feels about themselves, but how they go through life.

Self-esteem issue starts usually early on in life, and often hard to break but not impossible. In that case, the person must learn again the way to think about themselves, and mostly cultivate that state of mind.

That being said, no shortcut way can increase or fix self-esteem issues. You need to be conscious and be committed to making it work and change that mindset. Through the years I have worked on change, gain, grow and keep to a high level that self-esteem. It is work that needs to be made internally and externally.

Let’s look at these simple commitments that can make a huge difference in your way to overcome your self-esteem issues.

First, let’s talk about the internal way.

1- Stop comparing yourself to others.

You are unique, and have your personality, why tried to look or do what other people around you are doing. Comparing yourself to others will only hurt you. that will push you to have negative tough about yourself and taint your confidence.

Be you, be authentic. In some situations, the fear of doing wrong will lead you to act differently or show who you are not but keeping your head up and being yourself without excuse will give you that freedom. Trust me it so liberating.

Change your mindset. Tell yourself with faith good things. It could be:  “I am enough. I accept myself, and I don’t need to be like anyone else.”

2- Think Positive, Be Positive: Acknowledge and write down the good things about you.

when you are engaging in negative self-talk, you find yourself thinking that you are bad ugly or stupid, or fat. You need to stop having these kinds of discussions with yourself. Write down all the positive things about you and keep them close to you. It will help you remember how good, beautiful, unique you are and boost your self-esteem.

Once you start having a positive attitude towards life, you automatically start being positive about yourself and vice versa. Being positive does not necessarily mean you start chanting mantras; it involves looking at the world with a newfound positive perspective.

Once you successfully start replacing your negative thoughts with positive affirmations, you will notice an increasing surge of self-confidence. Whenever you feel any negativity beginning to creep into your mind, immediately substitute it with positive reassurances. For example, if you are out for a jog and feel you need to quit, quickly tell yourself, ‘just a few steps more, I can do it.’ These simple positive mind sessions with yourself will give your self-confidence a much-needed boost.

Also, try to be positive about others and situations. It is because positive attracts positive which is necessary for inner content and consequently, self-confidence.

3- Move on in your life, help you overcome your self-esteem issue.

Sometimes you think back about something that happened and you just cannot go over it. you must let things go, so you will be able to move forward.

Once you have dealt with your past, it is important that you stop digging back. At this stage it crucial to meditate and work on visualization.  Meditate often will help you relax, build some sort of peace of mind, and when you visualize what exactly you want you will see your mind shift from that past that was holding you back to the authentic you. the person you are or wish to be in the future.

4- Practice Gratitude.

Great things happen to those who don’t stop believing, trying, learning, and being grateful. Roy T. Bennett,

What do all the massively successful people have in common? They have mastered the art of practicing gratitude and being grateful for whatever they have. Once you start practicing gratitude, it starts shifting your focus from things that damage your self-esteem to all that is good in your life. The practice of gratitude will ultimately give your self-esteem a much-needed boost.

You can dedicate a few minutes to write at least 10 things you are truly grateful for at the beginning or end of every day. Remember to add dates, too, so you can always go back and see the amazing things that happened in your life. No matter big or small, being grateful for every blessing will be the building block of your newfound confidence.


External way to build your self-esteem.

1- Help others.

No amount of fortune, fame, success, beauty, intelligence, or strength can give you the same sense of personal gratification or a sense of purpose as a genuine “thank you” from someone you help.

When you stop being so wrapped up in your worries, sorrows, and melodrama and start being a part of the bigger picture, with a role to play in this universe, your sense of self-worth and self-esteem gets a whole new definition. Give freely. Help whenever you can. You will get more than what you thought you ever needed.

2-Change Your Social Circle.

At some point in our life, we need to get rid of people that are not got for us. You are building a social circle to add value to your life not to bring you issue.

 If you find yourself constantly around people who love to bring others down, tell you that your business is not going to grow, or show always that they’re better than you; you must get yourself out of this kind of circle. There is nothing good there. Why?

Well because it will ruin all your effort to build or rebuild your self-esteem and keep you in a self-doubt state of mind.

Positive people bring positivity while negative will bring only what they have; it is as simple as that.

This is why it is crucial to have a network of colleagues and friends or even family who support and encourage you. This in no way means that they don’t give any constructive feedback, but it means that they want to see you truly succeed. To give your self-esteem boost, surround yourself with people who genuinely want themselves and you to be successful. Once you do this, you will instantly feel how much more you start believing in yourself.

3- Learn to be Direct and say no when needed.

It is no needs to be afraid to express your feeling which often happens when your you have low self-esteem. As a person with low self-esteem, you need to share your thoughts and feelings.  You have the full right to say no when you do not feel comfortable about the situation you are in or someone trying to put you. Say no is not selfish. Remember every time you say no to someone or something, you say yes to yourself.  The more you express your feeling, the better will feel.

4- Make Exercise A Habit.

Those who make it a habit to exercise regularly have a higher energy level throughout the day and ultimately have more self-confidence. Exercising has several benefits that include reducing depression, maintaining weight, and giving your mood a positive boost.

Exercising is not just limited to weight training or cardio; you can also do yoga or an activity you love. The goal is to set a routine and to work your body and allow you to fall in love with yourself.

If you truly wish to feel amazing about yourself, I recommend you to step outside of your comfort zone. Dedicate 30 minutes each day to exercise. It doesn’t mean you start running a marathon; you just need to get your heart rate up and get your muscles moving. 

Going out of your comfort zone will gradually boost your self-esteem. You will realize how you can do the thing you never thought you can do.

Therapy Approaches

Getting helps from doctors or experts in mental health is important when you cannot heal alone.

Your primary care physician can refer you to a mental health expert.

Rehabilitation centers can help people detox from a substance of abuse while also offering counseling and support groups. Helping to correct a person’s “addictive thinking” can also help them break their addiction to feeling bad about themselves and putting themselves down.

Here are some examples of therapy approaches.

Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET)

is a directive, person-centered approach to therapy that focuses on improving an individual’s motivation to change. Those who engage in self-destructive behaviors may often be ambivalent or have little motivation to change such behaviors, despite acknowledging the negative impact of said behaviors on health, family life, or social functioning.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a treatment approach that helps you recognize negative or unhelpful thought and behavior patterns. Many experts consider it to be the best source of psychotherapy.

CBT aims to help you identify and explore the ways your emotions and thoughts can affect your actions. Once you notice these patterns, you can begin learning to reframe your thoughts more positively and helpfully.

This approach involves having a person recognize and reflect on their thoughts and then learning how they can adjust these behaviors to more positive ones.

Contingency Management

Contingency management (CM) is a behavior modification intervention that reinforces desired behaviors through incentives.

This therapy approach involves rewarding a person for positive behaviors. Examples could be writing in a journal to reflect on positive behaviors a person has displayed over a day.

Final Thoughts

self-esteem is an important factor of our sense of well-being, mental health, overall, our life.

When your sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and purpose is lower, it is often lead to negative behaviors or in the worst case engage in drug use.  Having high self-esteem, contribute a lot to living a healthier and happier life. It leads to motivation, self-discovering, and stress-free life. It determines at what level you will be willing to get out of your comfort zone to reach your goals pursuing your dreams.

That being said It’s important that you engage in helpful and healthier behaviors. Do what you love, and make you feel yourself. Socialize with people that lift you. Stay in that constant awareness of your self-esteem, acknowledge your though, and build a positive mindset about yourself.

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